Friday, July 29, 2011

PR Episode 1: The Terrible Pants Parade

First off, let me just say, I've missed you Tim Gunn. (and thank you for having me in your classy office.) Also, I don't know if this will be a weekly feature here during this season. I'm not trying to replace Dana's amazing Rundown posts and I really hope she does them again. Last season, I looked forward to them as much as I did watching the show. But I found myself typing so much in my comments there that they could have been their own posts. So now they are. The interwebs are the perfect place to talk about my dorky fandom and unfounded judgmentalism so that my real-life friends don't have to hear it. And of course, I want to hear your judgmental bitchiness as well. These people are reality tv show contestants, so they don't have souls, right? (Just kidding, I'm nice in real life, I promise.)

So... WHY DID EVERYONE CHOOSE TO MAKE HIDEOUS PANTS IN THE FIRST CHALLENGE?? Really? It's the first challenge. Sure, you want to show who you are and what you can do and blah blah blah. BUT, you also don't want to be the first one auf'd and you really don't know how you operate under the pressure of these challenges yet. So just make a cute little dress. That's it. Make it stylish, add an element of surprise, but don't make something that has to be perfectly constructed and fit really well to look good on the runway. Also, you haven't seen your model yet and may not have perfect measurements. NO PANTS. 

Rafael: A well-deserved auf. This was almost painful to look at. He made this poor girl look like she was  "rocking one" like Anthony. And the bib is bad. I know they were kind of trendy in craft world for a while, but I always hated that trend. Goodbye Rafael, goodbye Rafael's odd facial hair.

Julie: She really disappointed me. Although her Southwest stuff is not really my style, I still thought it was cool and she had some good ideas. But then she made these horrible pants. All that outerwear experience and you can't construct a waistband right? Kors' comments on the zipper were hilarious. Maybe if I wore as much bronzer as he does I could be that funny.

Anya: Guess what folks? The parade marches on. This was the first example of crazytown judging last night. Why did they gush all over this? I guess that top is cute in a way, but the pants are nuts. I can see in the pictures now even more than on TV how bad they look. Were they just impressed because they thought she couldn't sew at all? Not top three material. I do love her style from the casting stuff though, and the fact that she did teach herself to sew just for this. And apparently, she has a recently-uncovered sex tape thing going on, soooo... that makes for good tv I guess?

Josh: Besides the fact that this is all horribly ill-fitting, who is the girl that wears this outfit? The girl whose torso is shooting hoops with the boys while her legs are having cocktails on the yacht? So funny that he said he wished someone had told him sooner that it looked bad. Maybe he should have been on Gretchen's season. I also love it that he seems to be becoming friends with Joshua. I really hope that continues because the super-mormon being besties with the super-gay guy makes for good tv. I'm not above enjoying a bit of that on this show.

Speaking of Gretchen... This season's Gretchen is... I don't remember her name. But did you catch her tantrum in the end about not being in the top three? She's stylish, you like her clothes, then she becomes the most unlikable person ever all of the sudden. I bet she's from Portland too. Seems like someone from Portland. 

Bert: Love Bert. Love his story, love his simple aesthetic, love that he said he was 102 years old. This dress was super cute and the clear winner. Well done oldie. I wonder if she minded having his skivvies on her boob?

Becky: Definitely has some style and I like that she's on the older side of the contestants too. This dress is cute, but I can't get over that thing on the shoulder. It looks like ET is grabbing this girl. 

 Anthony: I like Anthony. I like that he's Southern and color blind and one-ballin-it. And I really like the print mixing stuff he does. But he put a merkin on this girl's skirt. Really? Not one of those judges are going to point that out? And if that wasn't enough, he gave her one on the ass crack too, for good measure. BAD. Second judges' lapse of the night.

There were other outfits, but all were too boring to mention. I think there are some smart designers and good personalities this season, it will be interesting to see where this one goes.

Alright, discuss amongst yourselves.


  1. I didn't get to watch the first show because the children just wouldn't have it. Boo! :( I found your blog through Dana's comments and I am glad you are doing this! I learned a LOT about last nights show and I love your thoughts. Very entertaining!!

  2. i really wish i could make individual comments on each of your comments ;) but maybe i'll manage to keep this brief. the joshs = super funny tv potential. maybe mormon josh will realize he's gay? awesome. anya's pants... they looked good when the model was standing still and the ass WAS a nice fit, but other than that, yeah. can't see what the gushing was about. julie. super dissapointing. enough said. portland girl (thanks for the nickname), well, let's just say that she is kinda cool in a weird way, but if she's doing that on purpose it's not cool. and i already don't even remember what she made, which is probably a bad sign. bert *swoons* is a doll. loved his dress, totally crushing on his super sweet story... hope he's around for a while. anthony, total like. i just hope he doesn't cry in every episode. also, i really thought i'd like fallene and the puking clown was pretty funny, but i wasn't in love with the dress (though dana did say it's her fave). ok. must get back to obsessing over blog design. can't wait for next week!

  3. This years gretchen is from right here in Minneapolis. I want to like her... just not sure if I can. I love when you talk project runway

  4. team bert here. can't wait to see more from him. can't say there's anyone else on the show i'm terribly impressed with at this point.

    that's so crazy about anya's pants. i really thought they looked good on the show last night but perhaps that was my sleep deprived brain playing tricks on me. they look pretty hideous in the photo above. still not sure i'm buying the "i've only been sewing for 2 months or whatever" thing. maybe she's just saying that to come across as some sort of sewing phenom maybe?

    the merkin! ha ha ha ha. didn't tim tell him not to go there? but he did anyways. did anyone else notice the women's electric razor commercial that kept playing throughout the show? the one with the merkin shaped topiaries? anyways, looking forward to next week!

  5. I have to agree---what were they thinking? I thought they would do as they did last season and just name the winner---it was obvious. Sign me up for Team Bert! It most likely didn't hurt that they were presented evidence that he can listen, take their feedback and deliver.

    In general, I was surprised no one ripped their sheet into strips to create texture. Was it Gordina in Season 6 who did this with the old wedding dress? I was just so underwhelmed with what they did with the dye and the sheet. What season had the muslin challenge--season 2? There were a number of fabulous dresses crafted from muslin so why not here?

    Anyways, a fantastic recap and I look forward to next week!

  6. SOoooo glad I wasn't the only one to NOT love that hairy skirt! I liked his top, and that he actually embellished it, but the skirt?!? ack.

    I think Bert has a pretty good chance of walking away with this season. He has previous experience that will take him far, and I thought he did an awesome job with that dress, too.

  7. LOVE that you are doing PR recaps...hysterical, very accurate observations. The first episode is always a free-for-all, so I don't trust anything anyone says, makes, etc (including the judges). No one knows what's what yet. But I agree, Bert is the bomb diggity, Anthony is really intriguing, Portland girl is DEF this season's Gretchen (that tantrum at the end was appalling. big time bitch face), and Anya is either going to win the whole thing or she's going to get some simple assignment and bomb it so badly that her model has to walk down the runway with a boob exposed.

    It's got the makings of a verrryy interesting season! Yay!

  8. Ok so I agree with every single thing you said!

    I just dont believe anya has only been sewing 4 months. I mean seriously??? Making pants for the first time????? I dont buy it

  9. oh agree. agree. agree. I swear I thought ALL of those things you said, but I never could have said them so humorously:) and I will DEFINITELY NOT be missing your PR runway posts this season! you are hilarious oh and I thought the same thing about the merkin skirt even though I didn't know the word "merkin" existed. I loved reading the urbandictionary definitions:)

  10. oh and to Vanessa up at the top who commented I kept noticing those commercials as well and laughed every time!!!

  11. Two things...First, your blog header kicks ass. I get it...'a little gray'. Second, I cry-laughed when I read this. I still have this on my DVR, but holy ugliness...the pants! Hope all is well with you! :)


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